Firenze di Notte (amoury) wrote,
Firenze di Notte

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Posted this on *More giggles*.


Oven temp.: 500 degrees f.
Time: 9+ innings (make during game time)

~2 cups salt
~1 tub of "I Can't Believe My Team Lost Last Year So I'll B**** About It All The Time", melted
~A gallon of tears
~4 cups flour
~1 rock

~Red Sox jersey
~2 whole eggs
~1 live chicken
~2 cups snowpeas
~1 bag Fritos (TM)
~2 hardened Peeps (TM) from Easter
~1 can of beer

To make:
Mix salt and tub of ICBMTLLYSIBAIATT together, making an oozing goo until well blended. Let sit while you watch Jeter flub in whatever inning you stop to watch; throw rock into neighbors window. Retrieve. Cry. Add tears. Fold into batter, careful not to keep crying as too many tears can make the batter saltier. Add flour, using whisk gently at first, growing faster as the NYY make a homerun. Throw the rock once more into another window, preferably your other neighbors. Retrieve.

Filling prep:
Dress live chicken in the Red Sox jersey. Take rock; beat thoroughly, screaming at your team as Damon makes a Grand Slam to cover chicken's howling. Add eggs with shells to add crunch. Crack open directly into chicken and jersey, laughing with glee. Add snowpeas. Stir. Crush bag of Fritos (TM) with stomping feet as Ortiz steps up to bat even before he swings in frustration. Bite heads off of Peeps (TM), throw them in mixture in rage as Ortiz predictably heads for home. Drink beer; if not enough, drink more. If not enough, drink more. If not enough, drink more. Drink until pain slides away as team keeps losing. Let sit until 9th inning. Once your team heads to bat, put in oven. Drink more beer. When the NYY lose, throw rock into the television. Retrieve. Electrocute yourself. Lie on the ground unconscious. Burn down house with flaming hate pie. Get arrested for throwing rocks in windows.

Serves nearly half the population of Yankees fans.

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